Sunday, 30 August 2009

Elastoplast Blister Plasters

Different wounds heal in different ways; for example wounds to the inner mouth result in ulcers, wounds to the arms result in scabs and the like. When the top of your foot gets wounded your body releases a gel like substance I call foot-marmalade. Foot-marmalade contains several unique chemical compounds not found anywhere else in nature, these compounds act to create a seal between foot and sock-matter that is up to ten times stronger than concrete. Removal of said sock results in the removal of the foot-marmalade and re-opens the wound delaying the healing process.

In order for a foot wound to heal fully you must either opt not to wear a sock for around a week, else you must not remove your socks for the same duration. Neither solution is sociably acceptable in western society. Luckily Elastoplast have come up with a workaround with their Blister Plasters.

For those of you unfamiliar with Elastoplast's Blister Plasters they are like sticky ovals of plastic that attach to your foot and aid the healing process through what is known as 'the placebo effect'. You leave the plaster on for a number of days - it is water proof so you can still wash.

When your wound has healed fully you may remove the plaster. Now upon removal said plaster may want to keep any skin it is attached to as a souvenir of its experience. This will leave you with a new wound that is on average three times in area as the previous wound; I'm waiting for Elastoplast to invent Extra Large Blister Plasters for such situations.

2 comments:

jmcd said...

In my experience (at least two major blisters a week), once the foot-marmalade is released the skin will never reatach.

You have three choices:

1) Leave the blister. This is my favoured approach if the blister is somewhere that does not get a lot of pressure, like the end of the toe. It is amazing how robust blisters actually are, and you will have plenty time for the new skin to get ready before the blister gives up.

2) Drain the blister. Not really a good choice I think. You get all the pain of raw skin but without it ever healing up.

3) If the blister is somewhere that gets a lot of pressure (like on the sole of your foot), then it's likely that I will end up removing the blister to expose the raw skin. Leave it open overnights to heal, and dress it during the day so you can get about (will be sore though).

jmcd said...

Oh yeah -- if you cut the blister off and it has dried out, but is still too tender to walk on, you can use superglue to make a fake skin. You can also use the superglue to reattach flaps of skin or nails that have beome detached.

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