Tongariro Conquering (with time breakdown)

Day 1
06:30 (in the morning) - Wake up to the sound of the pacific ocean being sieved down onto the North Island, grumble and prepare my waterproofs for the day ahead - I may get soaked but dammit I won't admit defeat!
07:30 - Defeated. Transportation isn't running because apparently the 40km winds in the region are considered 'unsafe'. I concede a moral victory by virtue of the fact that I was still prepared to set out anyway. Rest of the day wasted doing not much but read and sun bathe around lake Taupo.

Day 2
06:30 - It's on! The sun is out or just about threatening to get out - grab a napkin Tongariro Alpine Crossing as you're about to be served.
08:30 - Start of the trail, I've got until 16:30 to traverse 20km of track plus conquer Mt Tongariro as a side trip. I set of at full speed overtaking hundreds of people slower than me who will be henceforth referred to as chumps. As I'm steaming ahead I'm joined by a fellow walker who also seems to be horsing it along the track and we spend the best bit of an hour and a half trading 1st place.
10:00 - Reach the foot of devil's staircase, my fellow racee has retired for a rest thus I claim my first scalp for the day. I double-time it up the devils staircase and I'm absolutely buggered by the time I reach the top.
11:00 - Mt Tongariro is conquered! I'm an hour ahead of schedule thanks to my quick pace at the start so I've ample time to savour the view of nearby Mt Doom and enjoy some elevenses.
15:00 - Finished, despite taking my time and being held up by hoards of chumps on the descent I'm an hour and a half early for my bus. Despite being on my feet for six and a half hours I've eat surprisingly little of my lunch - plenty of time to remedy that and catch sum rays before heading home.

Day 3
08:00 - I'm driving my self today as I'm doing a loop - the target Mt Ngauruhoe (aka Mt Doom) an active volcano no less. I've started later to (a) provide me with a bit of a lie in, (b) let the chumps on the route get far enough ahead to not be in my way.
09:30 - I've got all day to do the climb so I take it easy this time. I set of at a slow pace but still overtake a few stragglers on the route though there are considerably less chumps on the route today than the thousands (no exaggeration) yesterday.
12:30 - I'm up the top of the devil's staircase and I'm no worse of than I was at the start of the track having taken it nice and easy on the way up. Mt Ngauruhoe looms in the foreground like a great big steep thing.
13:00 - After a bit of a mince and some light climbing I've reached the beginning of the ascent proper. The good news is that I've only got 600 metres to climb, the bad news is that it's 600 metres of scree slope at an angle of 41 degrees! (I looked this up). Not one to be deterred by the impossible I get cracking.
14:20 - I'm at the top! I'm standing on the edge of a crater looking at the surroundings with equal awe and contempt (for I am now master of the volcano!). The volcano top itself counts as one of the coolest (not literally for there are steam vents) things I've have ever climbed/walked on and I spend a good while exploring the summit.
14:50 - I'm getting cold now and it's high time I start heading back, I've mixed feelings about the descent. In it's favour it is apparently quite exhilarating to run down the scree slope, on the other hand I have a habit of falling over quite regularly of scree slope.
14:52 - I've had my first fall and I'm not even on the scree slope yet.
14:54 - And another one, this time I rolled a bit and was pleasantly surprised to be able to walk after it.
15:30 - And I'm at the bottom. I more slid down the slope than walked, my boots are full of ruble and my calf's are aching but it's done.
15:32 - I somehow manged to trip up on flat ground and end up doing a spectacular forward somersault the leaves me lying on my back laughing my ass off.
17:00 - Back at the car, please to see that it's not been totalled by a bus, nor has it been broken into - I left all the compartments open to show thiefs that there is nothing to steal. Notice that I also forgot to lock the car.
17:10 - After eight hours parked in direct sunlight the steering wheel is too hot to handle for any length of time and I'm forced to drive one handed alternating every 20 seconds or so until it cools down.