My feet say: "Screw you wisdom! I'm getting McDowall style on your ass". Or at least they would if they could talk like nineteen-eighties black-new-york-stereotypes. What happens you see is that when I make a wedge I don't slow down, moreover if I'm on a gradient then gravity keeps on doing its thing and accelerating me towards the bottom. The bigger the wedge I make the more it makes no difference - like the energizer bunny I keep on going.
The upshot is that I can do a turning stop by instinct - even if consciously I'm am unaware of the actual mechanics of such a maneuver. The downshot is that skiing is potentially too hard for me to learn.
The problem - as we finally deduced at ten minutes to bus-home-time - is that when normal folk make a wedge their feet angle downwards slightly causing friction between the skis and snow thus slowing down the skier. Me, with my crazy inhuman feet, what happens is my feet remain flat and frictionless causing now decernable drop in acceleration (unless I hit someone).
This means that to stop I have to consciously pretend that I'm Elvis and make some really unatural knee movements; or I could take up snowboarding. And though the latter sounds appealing you must remember that most snowboarders are effectively zombies with little or no higher brain function (that includes you Brodie).
For now I'll think I'll stick to sliding down slopes on a tea-tray instead.
1 comments:
And that's why we have such fun! Being Zombies, stopping holds no fear for us.
Indeed, the loss of a limb or two goes completely unnoticed.
A quick pint of brains & we're off to catch some more air in the board park.
P.S. all kudos gained by learning to surf has now been throw out the window with your brief flirtation with skiing.
Post a Comment